Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
