Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
