well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize