so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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