OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
