I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
