If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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