So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
