Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
