if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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