i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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