1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She has the best kind of daddy issues
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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