how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
