What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
