cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize