If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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