he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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