come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
