he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
