her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
