There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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