addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
