She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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