Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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