On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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