you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
