he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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