How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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