I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
