...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
