I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ladies don't puke and tell
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
