Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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