This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need to calm my uterus...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
