your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
