apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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