They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I checked into jail on foursquare
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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