I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize