I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the day after is always just damage control
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
