i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
