he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
