no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
