Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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