Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
