return my video game
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
