U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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