I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I party with great urgency now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
