just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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