We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My ATM looks so different sober.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
