this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
