He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
