I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
