I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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