I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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