Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
