I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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