Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
