ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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