if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
