Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
