U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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