that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
