Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Let's get the cat blown out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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