Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
