Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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