Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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