I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
