all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I AM VODKA MAN
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
